What's in a profile? What's in a name?

What does a name tell you about someone? If they're forced to pick it for themselves, to create something unique.

What does the composition and content of their photo gallery tell you about them? If they're limited to five photos, and can't come up with a single one in which they're smiling, will you trust them if their first sentence in their profile says they're happy-go-lucky?

Do you ever get a vibe from the way a person's profile is laid out, such that even on a site where all the boxes are given the same amount of formating and space, just their writing voice tells you you should know them?

Does the content of their section of interests really matter? After each person seeing that they both liked watching one movie or listening to one song growing up, how many times does seeing that movie with that person, or listening to that band or song with that person, really mean any more than listening to it alone?

What if they aren't interested in a single thing I'm interested in? I'm guilty of this, but: initial bonding shouldn't be done over shared interests, those will pop up in conversation, but it does seem to work as an icebreaker.

My question is, why is that? It's not just some of the time either, it's one of the things I have used en masse to find people who I think I may get along with. People who enjoy Bach, or people who laugh at the Little Shop of Horrors, or Mystery Science Theater 3000, or headbang to rock and roll... don't necessarily share any of the same life-views that I do.

But if I quote some lyrics from someone's favorite band, or make a pun based off of the comedy works of some of their favorite comedians, it's easier to peel apart the oyster as it were. The person opens up, because of the same false positive that I'm falling for: "We like some of the same things, maybe we're similar!"

In the end it doesn't really matter, similar or dissimilar, if they're agreeable, and affable, and flexible, I would like to know them, and maybe broaden my horizons with some of their interests, as I'm now reaching out for those with any interests at all, not just similar ones. I've been using other things as a standard of measure now rather than interests for the past two months, lifestyle choices, decision making capacity, and seeming openness(discussing a heated topic in their profile, stating that they accept a broad range of ideas and concepts, and other things that depict a person who is more open to learning and listening than shoving a viewpoint down other's throats.) It has let me connect with some amazing people, with their permission, I may begin linking to their profiles, and talking about them by either pseudonym or name over the course of this experiment in social etiquette of mine.


Don't stress yourselves, I'm going to be doing some of the work for you.

Love and growth, evolution in a lifetime.

I've got a problem: I love intensely and fiercely. I feel though however, as if, if there is a day I am not actively nurturing my relationship with a friend who loves and cares for me, and we are not already at a steady plateau, that our relationship tumbles backwards multiple steps.

Take for example a free form, unassisted mountain climb. Apply this to your search for happiness, your search for security, whatever it is.

If you hang onto a position that isn't a stable sturdy plateau to rest upon, your arms will get weary.
You may let gravity reduce your current elevation just to take some pressure off of your arms. If you're on a plateau however, even just a nice little ledge, a niche if you will, you can rest.

If I know that I fill a niche in a friend's life, I am content that I will not lose their love irrationally day to day.

However, if I don't contact and nurture growth with someone who I've recently met, or who I am maturing with, I won't be able to feel as if I've even done them justice in knowing them.

If I find myself feeling that for some reason, if a friend treats me differently, and "loves me less" on a given day, I want to approach them and ask "What about yesterday, or the day before yesterday, made you love me less than the day before that? Or what was I doing right the day before, that I didn't do yesterday, and how can I keep that up to nurture our love for each other? I want to make tomorrow a day where you love me more than either of the previous days."

My connections are so vastly important to me, because I feel I can say "I suffer from compersion." I want connections with people who are going to be happy. I want connections with people who are going to continue loving me day to day.

Perhaps I shall break down a timeline of growth with an individual, say the next person I make a random connection with whom stays my friend for over a week. Is anyone interested in watching a relationship grow, how I analyze and perceive it to be, and what events spark me to quantify my love for another person, and the level of love I believe myself to be receiving from them?

Be well everyone.